Bankruptcy lawyer pleads to fraud, asks Court to "have a heart"

Daniel J. Gates, 44, late of Ocala, Florida plead guilty in Pittsburgh of defrauding clients out of more than $3.6 million -- including more than $115,000 from former Steeler Rod Woodson. The plea encompassed mail fraud, bank fraud, bankruptcy fraud, money laundering, and possibly finger-puppet fraud, little tiny gerbil fraud, and fraud fraud (these last 3 may be a misprint). Hearings were postponed after Gates collapsed in a Florida airport and was hospitalized while doctors performed heart procedures, including catheterization, that prevented him from traveling for a week. The best medical minds in Florida have been forced to concede that the Defendant's heart was broken.

Ed. note: ha!